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Cat alone after the other cat died
Three weeks ago I unfortunately had to put down my 17 years and 9 months old cat, due to illness. I also have a just turned 16 year old cat. Both females. The point is that my cat Djinty has never been alone. From the moment I got her as a kitten, the other cat Minna was always there. Both indoor cats. They were like literal sisters, when they needed each other they would cuddle up and sleep together (when it was cold). They had occasional fights, nothing serious. Minna was always the dominant one, she would just slap Djinty when she wanted to steal her sleeping spot for example. Djinty just took that, accepted it, though on occasions she might fight back. For the most part they got along. Djinty often came looking for Minna, rather than the other way around. At times Minna accidentally got locked up, say in the bathroom or in a closet, and Djinty would miauw at us to alert us. This happened mostly when they were younger, but still.
Unfortunately, the timing of when Minna had to be put down was maybe not a good one, but sometimes you can’t do anything about that. Minna’s health took suddenly got a lot worse, and we had to put her down literally one day before we were going on vacation. This resulted in Djinty being left with the pet-sitter, a stranger to her, and my husband and I gone for two weeks. Now Djinty is a very reserved cat, she doesn’t like strangers and it takes her a long time to accept new people.
Now we are back from vacation and although she behaves like things are back to normal. She keeps her time-schedule, her routines are the same. She knows exactly what time is feeding time, she even has specific times a day she comes down for cuddles, and she knows when we are going to sleep she sleeps on the bed by our feet. Now behavioral wise this is normal. She was the complete opposite personality to Minna. Minna was “Mohito cat”, greeting visitors, she could literally sit between the visitors on the couch, she also wanted to be close to me at all times, she sat in my lap, I could even hug her, and she followed me everywhere. She was very vocal, we had conversations, she answered me when I talked to her. Djinty is more of a “wall-flower” scaredy cat. She isn’t particularily interested in us humans, or what we are doing. Her favourite spot is high up in the cat tree. She has moments she comes down for a cuddle, being petted, but she doesn’t like to be held.
Now Djinty always used to be a big eater, big appetite. In fact she is a bit overweight, she would quickly eat her food and try to steal Minna’s food (Minna being on high calorie food because of her health). But now, she not that enthusiastic. As always I start the morning with wet food, later some kibbles, dinner time wet food again and before going to sleep we play a game called throw kibbles. This is her favourite game, she loves chasing the kibbles one by one. I never free fed my cats, we have always had specific feeding times. The fact is that the wet food, she only licks the liquid. Then she leaves it there. She still comes down and lets me know that it’s time for playing throw kibbles, she runs after a few after a while she’s less enthusiastic. I also hide kibbles here and there for her to search for, these she doesn’t even go searching for anymore. The cat milk I would leave out before going to bed. Now when I wake up the next morning it is still there.
So I was wondering, instead of quickly assuming that she is not well. Could this be because the other cat is no longer there? Does she even miss the other cat? The reason why we had two cats is so that they would not be alone for long periods of time, after all my husband and I have to go to work during the day.
Would it be wise to get another cat? In this case I feel more like getting a kitten that a grown-up cat, because I think it is easier to accept a kitten. A grown up cat introductions could take longer, be more complicated. On the other hand is getting a busy kitten a good idea, because of her age? She is not young anymore, although so far she has had good health, no issues really. Last time I talked to the vet, she was even surprised that she likes to run and play at this age.
So those are my questions.
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3 Replies
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Hi Monica
Firstly, I want to offer my condolences for the loss of Minna, and I’m sorry to hear your vacation coincided with her passing.
From what you described and assuming she had a health check recently, Djinty is going through a grieving period. You might find this article I wrote last year, “How To Help Cats Deal with Grief”, https://cats.com/cat-grief, beneficial.
To answer your question regarding getting another kitty. Mourning of a bonded cat can persist for an extended period; it’s not a good idea to introduce a brand-new kitten or cat during the grieving process, since hostility to a new one may be extreme, and the bond is unlikely to be as strong as before.
Here’s an example of a current situation I am helping an existing client with: their resident cat is 13 years old and has lost his bonded brother one month ago. The owner took another cat, who is 5 years old. The resident cat hasn’t finished grieving, and the owner also went on a vacation for about one week. When they returned from holidays, the resident cat stopped eating, got sick and ended up in the hospital with gastrointestinal and kidney-related issues. The cat-cat introductions have been very slow, and they have yet to spend time together.
This does not mean that Djinty won’t accept another cat in a few months. You and your cat will need to be emotionally ready to accept another pet; integrating a new pet into the household can be challenging.
Once the family is ready to adopt, whether to get another kitten or an adult cat depends on the personality of Djinty, if she likes other cats and ensuring the age gap isn’t too big, since kittens do require a lot of tender, love and care, and senior cats might find them way too energetic. In your case, you may decide to adopt a bonded pair of kittens or an adult cat.
There’s a lot to think about, please take your time to make the right decision for your household and most importantly, Djinty.
I hope that helps
Sending love & healing
Melina
cats.com
How To Help Cats Deal With Grief - Cats.com
If you recently lost a treasured relative or a pet and believe your cat is depressed or grieving at their loss then this article is devoted to you.
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Hi Melina. Thank you for your reply.
By coincidence I am taking her to the vet soon anyway because it is time for her yearly checkup, although I do think that her health is fine. It makes sense what you say, I think it is the missing of the other cat.
In fact the past couple of months have been quite stressful, and emotional, as my cat Minna was sick for months. We kept taking her to the vet, and she was getting a lot of attention, and at times I thought maybe Djinty felt that something wasn’t right. In my opinion she wasn’t herself for some time.
I will have a look at the article. I would really like to get another cat at some point, but indeed maybe it is best to wait some time first. This has been a difficult and emotional period for sure.
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Most welcome, Monica
Wishing you all the best at the vet.
Melina
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